


I’d Surely Lose Myself

by EGreen96



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Broken, Death, F/M, Hurt, Love, Sadness, The Last of Us - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EGreen96/pseuds/EGreen96
Summary: Y/N gets revenge for her late husband, JoelI suck at summaries ;-;
Relationships: Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader
Kudos: 37





	I’d Surely Lose Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any typos. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> *****

The love of your life was dead, the person that helped you through the worst, the person who made this mess of a world worth living through was gone. It was official, you had lost yourself and standing there with blood soaked clothes, tear stained cheeks and a blood splattered face with a small switchblade in your hand said that. You had travelled far and wide and the moment you were waiting for was finally here, Abby had faltered in front of you, her fight was over and there was no way she was getting up from this. Her breathing heavy but shallow, sweat trickling down the side of her face, stray hairs from her braid stuck to her skin like glue.

“I let you live.” She choked out “I only wanted Joel dead for what he did to me, what he did to my father.” She was right, Joel had done some awful things, some really awful things, he had enemies, you had enemies, everyone had enemies. In this world it was very much care for yourself and the people you trust. Everyone was bad in this world, there was no doubt about that.

“I didn’t kill you.” You saw red, wiping the blood and sweat from your forehead with the back of your wrist, squeezing your switchblade in your hand.

“Yeah. Well, maybe you should have.” With one last loud shriek you almost pounced on Abby, piercing her throat with your switchblade, straddling over her, your legs either side of her thighs. She was still strong even with with blood pooling from her throat, you weren’t going to stop. Gripping your switchblade in both hands you pounded her chest over and over, piercing her skin with ease, screaming so loud as you did, if there were any infected around, you were as done for as Abby, but you didn’t care. Abby had stopped moving under you a long time ago but you didn’t stop, screaming and crying, your blood mixing with hers. You were just torturing yourself at this point, the person under you wasn’t even recognisable anymore. 

A pair of hands gripped around you from behind, you were about to stab the person in the side when you recognised the tattoo, “Y/N...”

You turned around looking at Ellie who was also covered in blood that wasn’t her own, “I came after you, Me, Dina, Tommy and Jesse did... you shouldn’t have done this alone, we could have helped. We wanted to help.” Your eyes fluttered closed as everything caught up with you. The past several months trudging through hell, killing the live and infected, whatever was in your path, your world went black.

  
***

You woke up clean and bandaged, surrounded by familiar smells and blankets. You were in bed, more so you were in bed in Jackson, yours and Joel’s bed. You rolled over onto the side he would always sleep ignoring the nagging pain that littered your whole body. It was almost like this whole thing was a dream and he would walk into your bedroom with a new block of wood ready for carving. For the rest of your life, even with Abby gone you were going to have to live with this whole in your chest that couldn’t be filled.

  
A knock on the door brought you back to reality as Ellie walked in and sat on the end of your bed, “it’s good to see you awake. You were in and out of consciousness for days. We... we didn’t know if you’d make it for awhile.” You sighed. 

“I’m sorry, Ellie, I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through, with me, with... Joel...” she shook her head and gripped hold of you apologising profusely for hurting you in any way, which she was, but it was nice to feel.

“I don’t want to lose you, Y/N.. I’ve already lost Joel. Please don’t make me go through it again.” Tears were threatening to spill out of her and your eyes. You shook your head. 

“You’re not going to lose me anytime soon.” You reassured her and she smiled wiping her tears away. 

“Good. Anyway, I will leave you be so you can get your surroundings back. I’m sure Maria will want you back on patrol as soon as possible.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled wanting to bring normality back to your life. You smiled and watched as she left.

You sat for awhile looking at a photo on your dresser, a picture of you, Joel and Ellie. All three of you smiling, all three of you happy, back when life was somewhat simple, if you could even say that. It was going to be hard, but you were going to continue trudging through life without your man by your side.


End file.
